Since Carolyn wrote the last three blogs I was told it is my turn. So here it goes.
Back
in late March we were headed from Northern California to Texas. The
route that we were taking went through Las Vegas. Now, I grew up in Reno
and was not interested in Vegas but we knew that the Scholl family was
going to be there.
If you follow The Scholl Bus then you might remember their post Vegas Strip Free Shows.
What was never revealed (until now) was that we were there that night.
The night went well and was a lot of fun. The Pirate show was great fun
for the kids, the Bellagio fountan show was amazing and the Mirage
volcano show was HOT (pun intended).
We all
know the mantra "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." However I have
done some research and found out the statute of limitations is six
months, so I am not legally bound to it any more and my conscience will
finally be at rest.
After we took the wives and kids
back to the campground Jody and I decided to check out some more of the
strip. It worked out well as they were tired and Jody and I both had
coffee with dinner and were still going.
We got a cab
and went back downtown.We were dropped off across the street from the
Monte Carlo Hotel at a club recommended by the cab driver. As we got out
of the cab he said we would love it. He smacked his lips and let out a
low groan causing Jody and I to look at each other with a questioning
look then a shrug of "whatever."
We
decided to go have a beer and discuss RV tips and stories. I saw a big
sign that said "Every kind of Beer you could Want!" Well, being a "beer
snob" I thought cool, maybe I'll be able to get real beer tonight. We
walked in and went to the bar. It was your typical club, flashing
lights, thumping music, and lots of bodies. It is true, I will put up
with a lot for a real good beer.
"OK guys and girls,
Its time for the BEAR OFF!" "Lets get all the Bears up here and see what
we got." I looked at Jody and tried to ask, "What the hell are they
talking about?" but he was looking around with a look of horror on his
face. I reached out to get his attention when suddenly I was grabbed by
the arm and pulled toward the stage. "There gonna love you hunny." said
the girl that was attached to the iron fist that was dragging me with
it. Before I knew what was happening I was on stage looking at a sea of
people.
I looked out and around trying to figure out
why I was on the stage when I saw the banner on the wall that said
"First Annual BEAR OFF! Find a Bear to cuddle with tonight." Down deep
in the recesses of my mind I started to recall "Bear." It came to me and
I spun around quickly to see about five other men being "escorted" to
the stage, along with Jody.
My brain reeled as I looked about and recalled,
Bear-A term used by gay men to describe a husky, large man with a lot of body hair.
I flashed back to before we came in. I must have had a dyslexic moment
outside and saw Beer when it said Bear. Looking out at the crowd I
quickly scanned. It was mostly men with a few females, wait, those were
Drag queens! A sign on the back wall said "First gay/alternative
nightclub on the world famous Las Vegas Strip." I felt the pit of my
stomach hit the floor.
The announcer was talking but I
couldn't hear anything as I was confused, lost and a little dizzy as I
am basically a shy person and don't do well in front of crowds. "Mmmm,
Mmmm ,Mmmm, your a luscious one." I heard as my ears cleared out. I
looked over and saw Jody standing with a confused look on his face as I
am sure mine looked also. The announcer held out the mic and Jody
replied "Uh, thanks?" The announcer then turned to me. " Oh Mamma, What
do we have here?" He looked at me and scanned down. Slowly.
"Is it true?" he asked me.
I couldn't do anything. I stood there in shock.
Is what true? I thought.
"Shall we find out?" he asked the crowd.
As I was thinking "Find out what?"
The crowd roared.
The announcer walked around behind me and I suddenly realized what he was talking about.
You
see, I am a Kilt wearer. And tonight was no exception. Not only that,
but I had not shaved my beard in over seven months because I had spent
the last nine of them behind the "Redwood Curtain" of Northern
California. I was wearing my work boots and had a shirt that
serendipitously said "Fuzzy Wuzzy" and had an adorable chubby bear on
it.
Suddenly I felt a cold sensation creep up the back of my leg. "It IS True Boys!"
The croud roared so loud I thought the walls would crumble.
He
moved on to the next three "Bears" then the vote came. Needless to say I
won that night. I got fifteen phone numbers, one hotel key and more
"kilt checks" than I care to remember. It took Jody and I an hour and a
half to get out of there as he won second place. I Think he got a bunch
of digits too but I didn't ask, I didn't want to know.
We
grabbed the first cab we found and agreed not to mention it to anyone.
But, the other day I saw a picture online of the First, Second and Third
place winners of the "First Annual Bear Off." I was also invited to
come back and crown next years winner. They offered to fly me out and
put me up at the Bellagio.
Jody, I have two tickets and a double room. Glen said he was looking forward to seeing you.
As Paul Harvey used to say, "And now you know the rest of the story."
Ok,
This was "Liars Post." None of this was true. We were going to meet
with the Scholls when they were in Vegas but alas, we could not sync it
up and missed each other.
The Scholl's do have a
great blog that we like to read and look forward to meeting up with them
and having that beer. Go to their blog
The Scholl Bus and give them some love. Tell them the Nomadic Jesters sent you.
Until next time, enjoy the journey.
Rich
"Good day"
